Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dealing with adults that don't act like adults.

So there is this individual that I encounter regularly online despite my best efforts. I try to avoid this person because after becoming involved with an organization that plagiarized material belonging to me (and recently suggesting THEY would take legal action against me), they seem to think the worst of me with nothing to base it on (except blatant lies they've even effectively caught themselves in, or been called out on by people that represent them).

This isn't really about THAT person, but "that" person. We all have one in our lives I think. No matter what we do they can find fault, place blame, create problems, etc.. I actually have another and sadly this other one is in my life because I and my wife tried to do a favor for a friend. It's backfired to the point that a major investment (5+ years of my life) has been at risk on many occasions and I fear it may be getting worse because "these" people do things based on some alternate reality and as a result, I can never tell what's coming next.

A kind gesture is met with disdain, childish, malicious words, and an overall attitude that can only be delivered by an adult that thinks like a child. You know what I mean? Things are said and logic used that couldn't be conveyed by a child, but the lack of logic and thought processes behind it are not representative of a mature, adult mind.

Most adults can use humor to overcome awkward situations and it's often said that imitation is the best form of flattery. Put the two together and at the least, you'd expect two adults to have a good laugh, then walk away. Bring in one of "those" people though, and it just starts another war.

In my case "this" person LOVES to go on about how mature they are, how they'll take the "high road" (made me think they must have meant the road taken when 'high', heh), and then bad-mouth me and the organization I represent. In the meantime, this person is a civil servant responsible for children in our city and is quite literally worshiped by children online for their "contributions", which are always WAY less glamorous than in reality, but that fact is never rectified.

I just can't wrap my brain around how people like this see the world, I can't avoid "these" people in two instances, and so I don't know how to deal with them. It seriously feels like I'm trying to reason with lunatics. In both cases, they operate for profit (though in one case, they might dare argue otherwise despite the public evidence to the contrary). In my case, I operate at a constant loss, and for the good that they are profiting from. You'd think that alone would be enough reason to quite with the silliness. That's sound logic though so it doesn't apply.

Sigh..... I'm rarely at a loss, but this is definitely one of those times.  :(


Thomas said...

Michael, I wish I had a solution or some insight for you but I will be dealing with one of "those" people myself for quite some time to come. The thing I've noticed (and yes you can generalize about a LOT of things when it comes to "these" people) is that they all manipulate everyone, usually they are very charismatic until you cross them in one way or another and then it's like you've unleashed the wrath of Hell upon yourself.

I've found that if you can't avoid them, then you have to beat them at their own game. As you pointed out, they get caught in lies to the point that they catch themselves in lies, so to speak.. Let their lies speak for them but don't continue doing the random acts of kindness for them.

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